Trade Deadline roundup

Today was an exciting day, the Christmas of the hockey world--in fact, in many ways it was MORE exciting, because you don't have to buy gifts for people you hate, or worry about gaining fifteen pounds in dessert weight, or drag a plant larger than you into and out of your house as it sheds needles in the process that will live in your carpet for the next seven to eight months.

In fact, today was so exciting that I skipped classes because of it. That's not entirely true, I also skipped to study for a psych midterm I have tomorrow, and I was very productive in terms of chores and things. But no lie--trade deadline? VERY EXCITING DAY.

Deals that went down:

Brandon Bochenski to Nashville for "future considerations." This is not really important, and only noticeable because Bochenski used to play for Ottawa, and used to take public transportation around, and people would see him bumming around town on the bus with the rest of us lowly mortals. Unfortunately he's suffered a Reversal Of Fortunes and has played for about four teams in four years now.

New York Rangers get Sjostrom, Gratton, and Lenevue for Marcel Hossa and Al Montoya. So look, both Hossas were in the works on trade day! Unfortunately for Marcel, he got sent to Hockey Hell in Phoenix, poor kid. Hopefully he will be able to get some decent playing time in there. And as for Al Montoya, I approve of him--he's from Chicago and went to the University of Michigan, and is one of the very best young American goalies. So best of luck to both of them in Hockey Hell.

Detroit acquires Brad Stuart for two draft picks. I think Brad Stuart is on a plane somewhere, praying to whatever hockey gods there are that he won't fall off a cliff or electrocute himself or get beaned in the head by a falling brick because the Detroit defense corps are all broken right now.

Pittsburgh gets Hal Gill for two draft picks. THAT'S THE BEST THEY COULD DO? THEY COULDN'T SEND HIM FURTHER AWAY? MARS, MAYBE?

Carolina receives Tuomo Ruutu for Andrew Ladd. Poor Ruutu. I really liked him in Chicago, for the 2.5 weeks he wasn't broken or injured or had a horrific hair injury or some other damn thing that kept him out of the lineup.

New Jerseys gets Bryce Salvador in exchange for Cam Janssen. I will be honest, the only reason I cared about this one was because I wondered what it means for my favorite lousy defenseman, Karel Rachunek. He didn't get shipped out of Jersey, which is good news, but...okay, sometimes I feel like his only fan on the planet and even I say things like "well, he isn't very good." Before he was scratched he wasn't doing terribly, either--I mean, he wasn't Nick Lidstrom-style stellar, but he was putting up some points and playing physically and getting about twenty minutes of ice time a night. Um, this one kind of got away from me, didn't it?

The Big Trades

Washington gets Huet in exchange for a second-round 2009 draft pick. First of all, I believe I speak for all of eastern Canada when I say this: "WHAT THE HELL?" This means Montreal is going into the playoffs with the excellent goaltending of twenty-year-old Carey Price (Hockey Jesus, the Second Coming of Patrick Roy, etc.) and 22-year-old Jaroslav Halak, known to Slovak hockey fans as "Karol Krizan's backup at the World Championships." And he lost the one game he played. You know, I was pretty sure Montreal had opened the door for some really awesome three-way goalie trading with this, but now I'm just concerned that the management didn't think this one all the way through. On the other hand, if you can still get him for your fantasy teams this year and next year, DO IT.

Colorado acquires Adam Foote for some ridiculously complicated series of picks and crap. This one was just unnecessarily confusing--"if Foote gets on a plane with a flight number that ends in an even digit, you can resign him for the 2010-11 year provided he isn't yet dead; if he is dead, you can resurrect him using clippings of Joe Sakic's hair, etc." Also, with the acquisition of Peter "Yes I Will Play/No I Won't/Yes I Will/No I Won't/Split Personality" Forsberg, it's like they're trying to re-create the 2001 team that won the Cup. Except many years older.

Washington gets Sergei Fedorov for Ted Ruth. Don't you think it's a blow to Sergei Fedorov to be considered an even trade for some D kid no one's ever heard of? Of course, I think Alex Ovechkin about creamed himself when he heard about this. There's a sizable Russian contingent on the Caps now, which is pretty cool. Unfortunately their average number of STDs floating around that room just increased by a factor of about twenty.

The Name Trade:
Marian Hossa and Pascal Dupuis to Pittsburgh for Erik Christiansen, Colby Armstrong, Angelo Esposito, and a first round draft pick. I can discuss this one rationally now that I've stopped vomiting. As sad as I am to see a player I really love like Marian go to a team I hate like Pittsburgh (whose name I have a very hard time not replacing the first syllable of with an unfortunate and profane noun), I am quite evilly excited to see how much Pittsburgh gave up for what will probably (I hope and pray) be a rental. As much as I hate Colby Armstrong, which is a LOT, you need players like him to do well in the playoffs, as Ottawa ably saw in last year's playoffs. Erik Christiansen is nothing special and pretty ineffective, but might grow up to be a 20-goal scorer. Esposito is a rookie with some promise. The draft is going to be absolutely loaded this year. Enjoy sucking, Pittsburgh, I will laugh pretty hard.

The Sens trade:
Martin Lapointe to Ottawa for a 6th round pick. I was flabbergasted at this trade, because everyone was yammering on and on about leadership--you know, I'm really not sure "leadership" is what the Sens are missing right now, so much as "goals" and "goaltending" and "defense" and "forechecking" and "competent coaching" and "a copy of Hockey for Dummies" and "stick tape" and "food" and a long long list of other things. I'm curious to see who he'll play with, given that the lines are being shaken up lately. Ah, Lapointe, I know him well, he played for Detroit when I was younger, and he's been in Chicago after that after a stint in Boston, so let's just say I expect very very VERY good things out of him (and the rest of the Sens) in the upcoming weeks.

Cory Stillman and Mike Commodore to the Sens for Patrick Eaves and Joe Corvo. Sigh. The Corv was never very happy in Ottawa, that's no secret, but it hurt me a little bit to see them give up Eaves, who the organization has been bringing up. Cory Stillman has been doing fairly well on a line with Vermette and Kelly, so I can't complain about that, and Mike Commodore? The hair? The hair on the ice at the same time as Andrej Mezsaros? AWESOME. That alone consoles me to the loss of Joe Corvo. (As does the fact that the average alcohol intake in the locker room probably dropped about fifty notches after his trade.)

Thank goodness the deadline is over and we can all quit losing sleep over this.